26 yr. old Chinese American female

Q: What different cities, states, and/or countries have you lived in?

A: Only CA

Q: Which do you consider your hometown (‘the place you most consider home’)?:

A: Danville, CA

Q: Involvements in clubs or organizations (ethnic or non-ethnic apply):

A: On Lok Senior Services

Q: Parents’ occupation:

A: Post Office employees

Q: What gives purpose to your life?

A: Spending time with family, enriching my life with multimedia, such as literature, television, movies, music; things that stimulate my mind and emotions. Exploring the places I find mysterious or beautiful, and places that are visually beautiful; I especially like to explore cities. Enjoying good food.

Q: What relationships have been of major significance to you?

A: My relationship with my grandfather, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins

Q: What is the racial and ethnic background of your closest friends? If they are of multiple ethnic backgrounds feel free to indicate their backgrounds.

A: Unfortunately I don’t have many close friends now. If I had to look back at the past several years and describe the people I’ve been closest to: Julian is Native American, Craig/Jon/James/Brandon/Marci/Shannon are white, my boyfriend is Chinese.

Q: When and how did you become aware of concepts of your race and/or ethnicity?

A: Not very much awareness prior to middle school. In elementary school, I thought it was cool when my mom would make egg rolls or some other Chinese specialty for Chinese New Year. Otherwise, I didn’t feel different because of my ethnicity. In elementary school there were other Chinese students, as well as students of many other ethnic backgrounds and I don’t remember it ever really coming up as an issue. Then in middle school, we moved to Danville and it was much less diverse; to be more direct, it was much more white. I felt different because everywhere I looked there were blonde heads and girls named Megan and Ashley. Some kid called me a chink during PE. I don’t remember how I responded. I think he was younger than me too. I hope I said something back to him, but I’m not sure I did. Either way I knew I wouldn’t be backed or supported. There weren’t other Chinese kids who would stand up with me. Most of the few other Chinese kids I knew seemed to wish they were white. At least that is how it appeared to me. Usually, especially the boys were outright mean. They wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and one boy who I thought lived down the street from me told me that he didn’t like me after I said something like,” You live down the street from me, don’t you?”. Then I felt torn because I wanted to be proud of my culture, but then I met all of these people who made me hate Chinese people. I could be wrong, but I always thought I would have had a better view of Chinese people if I grew up in San Francisco so that I could see a wider variety of different kinds of Chinese people; not just the mean ones who wanted to be white.

Q: What language do your parents speak at home? What is their predominant language on an everyday basis?

A: Mostly English now; growing up mostly Cantonese and some English

Q: What languages do you speak? What language do you speak most at home?

A: I learned Cantonese first, but now I speak more English, with Cantonese only occasionally and I learned Spanish in school

Q: Do you feel like their expectations of gender roles are ‘traditional’?

A: It’s hard to know what traditional means; I’m tempted to say “no” since they’ve always expected us to have good educations and support ourselves, but at the same time I don’t know that that is untraditional (?) I think it may have been interesting to see how my parents would have treated a boy/son. As far as their own relationship, my dad does most of the yard work, and my mom does most of the cooking, but my mom also plans all of our vacations, and is the most assertive in a business sense.

Q: Have they ever expressed career expectations for you? What were those expectations?

A: Strangely when I was very young there were no clear career expectations. Only the vague, but very strong expectation to attend a good university. Even when choosing a major, there wasn’t much guidance. When I approached graduation there were unexpected suggestions to look into a medical career, which at that time seemed a bit late in the game to switch gears. Not only that, but did I want to be a doctor? During a semester where I had read a great deal, I felt inspired to write, but when I shared this with my mom, she condescendingly said, “What, you want to write books?” And went on to tell me how difficult it would be to make money that way. Basically they made infrequent suggestions to pursue jobs that I had absolutely no interest in. I started to feel guilty, spoiled and picky when I rejected their suggestions. So ultimately I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted, or had been afraid to admit it for so long that it is now hidden below many layers. At least I hope it is so that I can be reminded of it at some point.

Q: Have you ever dated outside of your ethnicity?
A: Yes
Q: If you answered yes, did your parents accept and respect your choice?
A: If they didn’t respect my choice, it was not due to ethnicity. It was focused more on the person. Of course, there may have been some subconscious things at work. I did notice that they seemed to accept my current Chinese boyfriend more quickly and easily than others, but that may also be because he was the most courteous to them when he first met them. I certainly think his ethnicity factored into it; I’m just not sure how much.

Q: What is your educational status?

A: Bachelor’s Degree

Q: How do you define academic success?

A: Finding depth and fulfillment in learning, allowing it to make you a richer and more complex and thoughtful person, and applying that knowledge in life.

Q: How do you define success in general?

A: To live comfortably, surrounded by people who you love and care about, and who love and care about you, continue to find stimulation and to be able to treat yourself to small luxuries from time to time.

Q: Throughout your time in school, how often did you encounter people who assumed you were smart because you were Asian?

A: Fairly often; so much so that the comments seemed commonplace and I don’t recall anything specific. Mostly jokes about how people would copy off of me because I was Asian and must be smart.

Q: Have you visited the country or countries of your ethnic origin/s?

A: Yes

Q: How knowledgeable are you about the history of the country or countries?

A: A basic knowledge. More than your average person, probably, but not as much as I’d like.

Q: Please list at least 3 feelings you had while visiting.

A: Insufficient or lacking because I didn’t have a strong enough command of the language, proud of my heritage, strange because I felt it was obvious we weren’t from there.

Q: If you were born in America, did anyone ever assume you weren’t American because you are Asian?

A: I’m not sure; sometimes people think we are Thai, Japanese, Filipino or Canadian.

Q: How were you treated?

A: Overall very well; people were generally very friendly.

Q: Do you feel a sense of belonging when you are in the company of people, a majority who are of your ethnic group? How strongly do you feel this on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being not at all, 5 being very strongly)?

A: 3 when I am around Chinese people of varying age groups, or middle age to older Chinese people; 1 when around a large group of Chinese American peers. So it’s more of a generational thing; I think I do, or would like to feel a sense of belonging when around Chinese people that I feel I can respect. But many young Chinese Americans, unfortunately, don’t make me feel this way.

Q: Do you feel a sense of belonging when you are in the company of people, a majority who are Asian? How strongly do you feel this on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being not at all, 5 being very strongly)?

A: 2 or 3 because we can share more about common foods and family ties but at the same time if I were in a group of all Korean, or Japanese or Filipino people I probably wouldn’t feel as comfortable. Strangely, I’m not sure why but I feel like I might be more comfortable in a group of Vietnamese people. I know that sounds strange and I’d have to think about it more but maybe its because I feel more of a sameness or closeness to the Vietnamese people I’ve met? Mostly Vietnamese people I’ve known have not been judgmental or made me feel uncomfortable. I also find it strange that although Taiwanese people are Chinese, I feel very distant or “other” when I’m around Taiwanese people. Even Mandarin speaking Chinese people. I really only feel a connection to Cantonese or Toisanese speaking Chinese people.

Q: Do you listen to music, watch movies, eat the food of your ethnic country or countries? How often do you do these things on a regular basis on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being not at all, 5 being very often)?

A: Music = 1 no/rarely movies = 2-3 used to more, but I enjoy them Food=3-4 Fairly often

Q: If you were born in America, did anyone ever assume you weren’t American because you are Asian? Please give a brief description of this incident.

A: I know that many Chinese people I’ve known used the term “American” to describe a white person. The incidents that occur most often are from men on the street who have an Asian fetish. A white guy will come up to me and ask if I’m Japanese. A black man once approached me while I ate my lunch on a public bench to ask if I was Korean.

Q: Do you believe that one’s emotional needs are less important than fulfilling one’s responsibilities?

A: They are both important, but it’s easy to neglect your emotional needs while trying to fulfill your responsibilities and obligations.